Enough, ok? An Invitation to Examine Experiences

I am legitimately trying to be as calm as possible right now. Channeling my inner zen riiiiiiiight about now... kidding. I don't have inner zen. It's mostly Jesus who keeps me calm and keeps telling me that it's ok. While I heed his advice, I also can't help but to speak out.

Right off the bat, I'd like to preface this by saying that I do not have a Master's in theology (evidently), nor do I dwell among the eloquent speakers. All I have is my experience and I do know that some of you who are reading this will not deem that worthy enough. You probably tuned out when I said I don't have a Master's in theology, thinking "Well, if she doesn't understand scripture to a "t", what merit do her words have?". And that's ok. I'm not forcing you to read my opinions. What I am hoping is that you'll hear my heart, because something is not ok.

Most of you know that I am adamant about justice, equality, and empathy. I am also about awareness. What I have been noticing lately is me writing or reposting writings of topics concerning the equality of men and women and while women (usually) completely relate and emphasize, some men make it a point to comment and point out the theological flaws in those arguments. I feel like this is not fair. What some men are trying to do is pick apart our opinions and arguments and completely leave out our experiences. They speak on behalf of our issues when they have no place to speak. It's happened to me countless times. It happens on the internet and it happens when I talk to people face to face. I get picked apart.

I am labeled a feminazi because I have opinions. Honest to God, I tried not letting that affect me. So far I think I've done a pretty good job because I'm learning to be more confident (and have come a long way) but the back and forth insults stop now! I am not a feminazi. You're equating me to a female version of a people group that annihilated a different people group just for being different. You are equating me to someone who tortures and kills. Can I be honest with you? It hurts.

Some men, especially those who have been too preoccupied with their own, comfortable life, have failed to see how a lot of women are being treated in some churches. You say we're being treated well just because we don't speak out. Mind you, I am more than happy with my current church family but it hasn't always been this way.

In church settings, in family settings, in social settings, (especially in Christian circles) women are being limited to coffee making. We are being told we can lead and then never be given an opportunity.
Currently I am reading a book about church planting. I am more than halfway through the book and nowhere does it mention women. All the author talks about is "and my guys", "the young men out there", "we need to train up the right men for this job". I'm sorry but I don't see myself being represented there and it's disappointing. You can talk semantics all you want but the truth is: they matter. Women are not adequately presented and please don't be another man who tells me that this isn't true, because frankly, you wouldn't know.

It took me years to acknowledge the fact that black people were misrepresented or not even represented at all in media. Why did it take me that long? Probably because I was blinded by my whiteness. Seriously. As a white person I was being represented well so why bother taking into account the opinion of a black person? Because they matter too! And this is what I'm getting at. Women's issues matter! I am tired of being pushed into a corner and being told that somehow my experiences are wrong and that I have the wrong theological outlook.

Can you do me a favour? Can you, just for a little bit, close your commentaries and listen to the women in your life? Because I can assure you that most of us are really tired of fighting this on our own. There aren't many that are listening.

My intent of writing this isn't to insult anyone or to spark online debates. Instead, I wanted to write about my experiences and hope that you understand a little better now. If you know me at all, you know that amongst my core values are compassion, kindness, and fairness and that I love people no matter what their gender is. I have men in my life that I have tremendous respect for and I have women in my life that I have tremendous respect for.


Welp. I've probably alienated about half of the people I know. But that's ok. I hope we can still get along. And I promise I won't bite. I am, what some people call, a nice feminist or rather: a true feminist.

The Choices I Made and Why I Made Them

Last September I made the choice to be more conscious about my mental health because the summer prior to that I fell into depression, something that can easily overtake me when I don't live in a routine and constantly have my mind going and focused on positive things. I have already seen huge improvements in my way of thinking. Because I refuse to let stagnancy get the better end of me, I have improved my relationship with people, I see myself in a more positive but realistic light, and have seen improvements in my productivity. The betterment of my mental health has also trickled down into aspects of my physical health. 

In January I made the choice to be more conscious about my physical health. I've always known about the effects that being overweight can have, I just never cared enough. Finding people who are struggling with the same thing can be a tremendous motivator to start changing your life. Since starting, I've lost about 10 pounds and look forward to the many more pounds I get to shed. I've also established a reward system for my journey:

Yikes. I am extremely self-conscious about my weight so putting this out there for the world to see is a huge step for me haha. Until yesterday I didn't even know how much I weighed myself. I just got someone else to track the progress without me looking. But that stops now. Ignorance always ends up screwing you so I've made the choice to face my fears. I've mastered the art of looking at my bank account without fainting so I'm sure as hell not going to let some numbers get the best of me. 

Lastly, and most importantly, I've made the choice to stay in constant communication with God. I owe everything to him and more often than not, we forget this simple, little fact. Whether I'm repenting of something, celebrating with him, thanking him, discussing with him, or dreaming with him, I want him to be on my mind constantly. His sovereign presence is what makes all these changes possible. He is the ultimate worker in my life and I can't thank him enough for that. 

Since making all these choices and changes, I've received tremendous support. Support that I could've only dreamed of. I want to thank all of you who either encourage me, challenge me, or do both. You know who you are. 

And remember: If it doesn't challenge you, it won't change you. 

xoxo

Jess