Having grown up in a predominantly protestant environment, Lent was never something I had observed. Sure, I saw and recognized the importance of it but at the same time, didn't feel like it would be beneficial to me. This year I thought I would try it and so I have decided to give up my Instagram for 40 days. O, that reminds me. I should probably delete the app.
Okay-- done.
While an app like Instagram has given me an opportunity for a creative of outlet, one that I otherwise do not have seeing as I am not particularly artistic in any other sense, it has also been the source of much discontent, envy, pride, and an unhealthy rush of seeing 'likes' pour in, acting like validation to me. I do not want a little white heart in an orange box to become my main source of affirmation anymore. I can't even blame anyone else for this as I am the sole perpetrator for this unhealthy conditioning regarding my emotions. We all want to be validated in who we are. Some of us have an unhealthy relationship with validation and seek it in all the wrong places, whether that is social media, toxic relationships, porn, or entertainment. Maybe you could consider giving some of this up for Lent and go back to the basics. What does it mean to solely rely on God for comfort? What does it mean for you to receive pure validation from Him and no one else? What would happen if He was enough for you? I am talking to myself as much as I am talking to you. I am probably writing this more so for myself than anyone else.
I have been struggling a lot lately with a lack of community. It isn't the same as a lack of friendships because truth be told, I never lack in. Community is different though. Being in a community means that you get to experience every day life with others. I am finding that I'm spending most days by myself and, to a point, grieve the community I used to have. To say that I need a lot of quality time is an understatement. And while I feel like I am suffering in this, it also feels like God is using it to make it clear to me that I need to need Him more. Community or not, I need to be content in Him.
Which brings me to my next point: Why giving up isn't enough.
Lent is great if you want to give up a habit for disciplinary purposes but you can't give something up without replacing it with something else, otherwise you are left with a void. If you vow to give up coffee for 40 days so you grow in discipline but don't do anything else to deepen your relationship with God, then what good does it do to give up your coffee? If I give up Instagram but don't learn to receive validation from God, then this whole act has no use, because I haven't grown or learned anything.
For myself, Lent is the perfect opportunity to get back into a consistent prayer life, one where I don't use the excuse, which is: "Oh I just talk to God in my head all the time." No. This needs to specific time taken out of the day to spend in solitude with Him. I want Lent to mean something to me and I want to be changed through it. I want to be a completely different person at the end of the 40 days. I want to be more like Jesus.
So, not only am I giving up something, I am also replacing it with a good habit. What are you giving up and what are you going to fill it with?
Tuesday 17 February 2015
Sunday 8 February 2015
When Complaining is Counterproductive
If you're friends with me at all and if we talk on a semi-regular basis, you've been hearing me complain a lot over this past week. I genuinely want to, publicly, apologize for this. I know I need tell you this in person as well but this is a start.
Last week I officially had to give up my car and I may as well have gotten rid of all my belongings and moved to a third world country, because that is exactly how I reacted. My life was definitely over, doomed to the ways of public transportation; a lifestyle I had only briefly explored in my first year of college when I was too poor to keep up car insurance payments. As that year came to a close and I was able to embrace my dear vehicle again, I swore that I would never sink this low again. I would never leave Morgan's side again and vowed to the people around me that I would be driving this car to its bitter end. Little did I know that his end would come sooner than expected and I was thrown into a world unknown. A world where buses don't care if you have somewhere to go at 10pm or that you want to keep your commute to less than two hours. I'm being melodramatic again but my point is: I felt lost. And stuck. And just generally crappy, because now I couldn't rely on a car to get me to wherever the heck I wanted and that scared me. Especially my work commute starting in March when things are only going to become more difficult for me.
Today I sat in church and heard my pastor talk about the defining factors of living like Jesus, namely the Fruit of the Spirit. Love, joy, peace, etc. Do those things define your life? Because if they don't, you're not fully growing into the character of Christ. It's easy to feel like we possess love when we only hang around people that show mutual love. It's also very easy to think that you're a joyful person when nothing tragic has happened in your life. Only when we encounter circumstances in life that counter the Fruit of the Spirit, will we actually have a chance to develop that fruit.
Only by being around people you don't love, will you grow in love.
Only by experiencing sadness, will you grow in joy.
Only by experiencing conflict, will you grow in peace.
Only by having your buttons pushed, will you grow in patience.
Only by experiencing hostility and selfishness, will you grow in kindness.
Only by experiencing corruption, will you grow in goodness.
Only by being let down, will you grow in faithfulness.
Needless to say I got convicted regarding my constant complaining about how hard my life is at the moment. This isn't how I'm going to grow. As I am focusing on the things I don't have and I think I need, I was essentially saying that Jesus wasn't enough for me. Thank God that He keeps reminding me of the fact that He is enough. There's nothing else I need.
Nothing else will satisfy my soul. Only Jesus.
Last week I officially had to give up my car and I may as well have gotten rid of all my belongings and moved to a third world country, because that is exactly how I reacted. My life was definitely over, doomed to the ways of public transportation; a lifestyle I had only briefly explored in my first year of college when I was too poor to keep up car insurance payments. As that year came to a close and I was able to embrace my dear vehicle again, I swore that I would never sink this low again. I would never leave Morgan's side again and vowed to the people around me that I would be driving this car to its bitter end. Little did I know that his end would come sooner than expected and I was thrown into a world unknown. A world where buses don't care if you have somewhere to go at 10pm or that you want to keep your commute to less than two hours. I'm being melodramatic again but my point is: I felt lost. And stuck. And just generally crappy, because now I couldn't rely on a car to get me to wherever the heck I wanted and that scared me. Especially my work commute starting in March when things are only going to become more difficult for me.
Today I sat in church and heard my pastor talk about the defining factors of living like Jesus, namely the Fruit of the Spirit. Love, joy, peace, etc. Do those things define your life? Because if they don't, you're not fully growing into the character of Christ. It's easy to feel like we possess love when we only hang around people that show mutual love. It's also very easy to think that you're a joyful person when nothing tragic has happened in your life. Only when we encounter circumstances in life that counter the Fruit of the Spirit, will we actually have a chance to develop that fruit.
Only by being around people you don't love, will you grow in love.
Only by experiencing sadness, will you grow in joy.
Only by experiencing conflict, will you grow in peace.
Only by having your buttons pushed, will you grow in patience.
Only by experiencing hostility and selfishness, will you grow in kindness.
Only by experiencing corruption, will you grow in goodness.
Only by being let down, will you grow in faithfulness.
Needless to say I got convicted regarding my constant complaining about how hard my life is at the moment. This isn't how I'm going to grow. As I am focusing on the things I don't have and I think I need, I was essentially saying that Jesus wasn't enough for me. Thank God that He keeps reminding me of the fact that He is enough. There's nothing else I need.
Nothing else will satisfy my soul. Only Jesus.
Sunday 1 February 2015
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