Insert Clever Title

Once again I find myself in some sort of life limbo. Summer officially started. Still looking for full-time work until September and I generally don't know what to do with myself. I swore to myself that this summer wouldn't be filled with endless Tumblr scrolling and clips of The King of Queens. After I had this thought I continued to scroll through Tumblr mindlessly and cackle over the cheesy humour in TKoQ.

If there was an award for Miss Best Intention I'd win any day. I truly do have the best intentions, the greatest ideas, and the most wonderful dreams about the future. When it comes to implementing them however, I get stuck. Stuck in that good ol' comfort zone. Would I love to move to Ireland next year and find a full-time job there? Absolutely! Would I also be absolutely terrified of leaving friends behind? Yep. There you have it. Being stuck in a comfort zone and separation anxiety do not mix well. I get too attached to people and places (provided they are nice to me).

I'm finding it harder and harder to hear from God the older I get/the more I am exposed to technology so I have decided to move to Pennsylvania and churn butter. Can't you just envision me in a nice, traditional Amish dress, tending to the fields, while some guy in the background plays my favorite hymns on the organ? No? Uh, yeah. Me neither.
The thing is, though, I find myself having to be stimulated every hour that I'm awake. It can't be quiet. I either have to have music, a movie, or a show playing in the background while I'm doing something else. And sometimes I'm not even doing something else. After some time it becomes harder to pull yourself away from this constant stimulation, become quiet, and spend time with God, exclusively.

Right now I'm actually quite proud of myself. Since starting this post, it's been completely quiet (other than the kid who's banging against his bedroom door and won't go to sleep). It's weird. I'm already feeling like I'm moving closer to God just by doing this. I guess I am now confronted with my genuine thoughts. The thing is, it scares me. I'm already having enough trouble as it is facing my mental state. I don't need more illumination. Or do I?

Awareness is the key and ignorance and denial won't get you anywhere. You can try really hard to run away from yourself but you can't run away from your own feet. (Sorry. I really had to throw in a Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs reference). My point is: I have so much more to learn and I dislike this very much. But I'll go on anyway. We'll see. Maybe I'll finally somewhat break out of my comfort zone this summer and do something I've never done before. Something crazy. Something so unreal that it'll blow everyone's minds!

Please stand by while Miss Huber is thinking of something that fits the above description.
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This may take a while.

What happens when you stick a German into a Bible College?

I hate to admit this but I'm trying really hard not to cry right now. Yeah, yeah. I've already heard all the "Germans don't cry" jokes. Whatever. Let's move on.
This weekend has just been such a bitter-sweet time of my life. This year I actually went out of my way and befriended people outside of my program! We all know that counsellors can be a bit like hermits in this aspect so coming back, I was quite sceptical of this promised "fellowship". Mind you, I'm not used to open and welcoming people, but you have all shown me what real and genuine friendship looks like.

There is no other place I can joke about my heritage so much and not feel condemned. There is no other place where I have laughed so hard substances literally flew either out of my mouth or my nose (Sorry about that visual). There is no other place where others call you out on your behavior in a loving and graceful manner. There is no other place that has made me feel so deeply appreciated and welcomed.
Whether that came in the form of coffee dates, homework sessions, cafeteria meals, walks, hanging out around campus, going out for dinner, or having girls in my room to simply chat with.
You know what? We're not perfect. By no means. There will always be friction, hardship, and difficulty in loving others but you all make it worth it.

I am so deeply saddened by everyone who already left or will be leaving shortly for the summer, especially those I won't see again, but I am also beyond excited to be coming back in the fall to begin a new (and my last), crazy year full of challenges, people, and exciting things.
A big thank-you to everyone who has supported me by any means. I really could not have done it without you. God has been 100% faithful in everything He's promised and I know for a fact that He's placed this community here to be a blessing to many others in the future as it has been a blessing to me.

Thank you, faculty. I haven't always been the best or easiest student to work with but the fact that you haven't given up on me assures me that there is hope for others like me in the future. Your heart for these students is so evident and you really do want to see everyone succeed for the kingdom of God.

Thank you, students. You have influenced and inspired me to go after great things. This morning at church it was said that, as long as we only go after good things, we'll never be great. Some of you have encouraged me to go after great things. God things. And you know what? I will! I will because
1. God has created the passion for it in me.
2. You have and always will support me in it.

Not only have I enjoyed the fun & great times here at PLBC, I have also been convicted, challenged, and pushed towards excellence in my walk with God. I am far from perfect but I wouldn't be where I'm at right now, without you.

Ok, so I think I'm repeating myself now and I should probably stop. Thought I might as well write up a blog post instead of creating an obnoxiously long facebook status.
If you've actually read all this, I am proud of you! Put "Funyuns" into the comment box.

BYE!

Wisdom from the Unexpected

Tonight started out as an honest effort to study and get homework done in the last stretch of this semester. While we all got good amounts of work done (I presume), the conversations quickly deteriorated into the funny and hilarious bits. As we were laughing about James being signed up on ReformedSingles.com this guy walks in. He was a big guy and you could tell he was drunk from the alcohol stench. Nevertheless, he seemed like a real friendly guy.

As he stepped over all our laptop cords we were talking about how expensive they are. Jokingly he said: "I came back for more money!" (seeing as he had come by earlier to get a bit of money for food).
Jon replied: "Hey man, we're broke college students."
Him: "Yeah but once you're done you'll be richer than I ever was."
Jon: "I don't know. We're Bible college students."
Him: "Let me tell ya. You may not be rich with money but you'll be rich in your hearts!"
(Conversation paraphrased.)

Wow. Talk about insight from the least expected source. This guy knows what he's talking about. That or he's been preached at one too many times.
Seriously though. I don't think this statement is going to leave my mind any time soon. Yeah, as college students or even as regular Joes in life we may not have all the riches, glamour, and money but we have what is most important: riches in our hearts, bestowed to us by God.

Don't ever let go of what God is teaching you right at this moment. Keep it. Treasure it. Don't forget it. These are riches. And they will make you richer than any worldly treasure could do.

So yeah. Just a little snippet of what happened tonight. I truly enjoyed this time. Looking forward to many more of those times in the future!

Our Worldviews - Sex, God, and Gardening

This morning presented a very interesting start to Village Church's new sermon series: Sex, God, and Gardening. For five weeks we're exploring five basic issues every human faces: God, sex, money, work, and death. The reason it's called Sex, God, and Gardening is because we were initially created for three relationships:

1. With each other (sex)
2. With God (to worship Him)
3. With creation (to subdue it)

This morning Mark spoke about God and our own idea of God. Who is he? Who do we make him out to be? What is our worldview? The question is not whether or not we have a worldview (because we all do) but rather: What do we fill it with? What kind of lense do we see the world through?

A compelling argument against atheism or secular humanism is the fact that, if we believe to be here by chance, that there is no higher moral standard, no absolute truth, and all we set out to do is to make the most out of our 80 years on this planet, why on earth would we sacrifice for others? Why do we help others? Why do we CARE? If we're here for our  own gain, we shouldn't waste time living for others. We shouldn't waste time being involved in justice for others, fairness, compassion, kindness, or love. Our goal would be to hoard as much as we can and then to live for ourselves. We would be no different than animals who just don't care.

As I was listening to this this morning a thought ran through my head: Sometimes I wish I was like an animal. Sometimes I wish I wouldn't care so much. You know why? Because caring brings pain. Caring comes by means of passion and passion is pain. So yes. I understand those who want to hold to their truth of not having to care. That this is all a game of survival of the fittest because then I wouldn't have to worry about anyone but myself.

Luckily, this is all a lie. We were created in God's image (Genesis 1:26). We were created to care. Created with the ability for compassion, kindness, and love. And while this brings pain and suffering, it is well worth it. It is worth it to care for others just as God cares for us. Because this brings us closer to God. Though our understanding of Him is still quite limited, we get Him a little better, so that we may try to comprehend the depths of his grace, love, and mercy for us.

Romans 11:33-36

Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!
How unsearchable his judgments,
and his paths beyond tracing out!
"Who has known the mind of the Lord?
Or who has been his counselor?"
"Who has ever given to God,
that God should repay them?"
For from him and through him and for him are all things.
To him be the glory forever! Amen.

At what point do you give people second chances?

It's a question I've been pondering for a while now and I'm sad to say that I really haven't come to a conclusion. My mind has been aimlessly wandering lately and thinking of all the different, possible outcomes certain events in my life could have had if I had given out a second (or third, or fourth) chance.
I wholeheartedly believe that people are able to change but to what degree? If someone in your life is harming you (not necessarily physically but emotionally and psychologically) how far do you go to remove yourself from that person? And is that person ever going to change? I rest in the fact that God gave him (and probably still is giving him) another chance. I'm kind of amused by the fact that after such a long time, I am now giving this a thought. Some may say I acted on impulse. Some may say that by not giving out another chance, I have made one of the best decisions of my life. Maybe it's true. Maybe my life would've been in the dumps right now and I would be miserable if I had taken pity. The annoying thing is: I'll never know.
Truth is, what's done is done. I can't change my past actions and I don't know how my life would've turned out if I had given him another chance. But I do know this: I am content with where I'm at right now. According to some, I'm not living my life at its fullest but you know what? I'm ok with that.
I'm a work in progress and always will be. :)

People, the Future, and Ferrets

It's been quite a week! Mostly composed of class, work, friends, and... OH YEAH. EASTER. I seem to like this holiday much more than Christmas... Anyway. I spent the weekend mostly with dear friends who always seem to enrich my life more and more. I am forever grateful for this. Today I even met some pretty great, new people. I get energy from others around me. At the same time, I can't stand large crowds. I seem to function better with a small, low-maintenance kind of group. Just a few. That's why I tend to avoid large events. Take our school's annual retreat to Rockridge for example. This doesn't do anything for me. I am more likely to retreat to my own world or cling to the few people I know and trust when bombarded with a bunch of extroverted college kids. I'm the same way with the cities I live in. I pretty much lost count the amount of times I moved in my life time. Pretty sure it's at 15 now. And I'm only 22 years old. But if there is one thing I noticed, I seem to dislike either extreme: tiny towns and big cities. I'm a girl bred for the suburbs. Does that make me an ideal soccer mom? Maybe. It's not like I care. I just like the thought of having a small group of people you can call up at any time and do whatever you feel like doing. In other news: I still don't know what to do with my life. The options are endless. Question is: Where does God want me? Bigger question yet: Does God even care where I go? Will He bless me wherever I go? Or is there some specific path He's laid out for me? Do I move to Ireland? Do I move to Germany? Do I stay in Canada? Do I stay in the Lower Mainland? Do I move to New Brunswick? What job will I have this summer? What job will I have in September? Do I get another Bachelor degree in counseling psychology? Do I then move up to getting my Master's? How and when am I going to pay off my student loans? Am I going to be counseling anytime soon or will that have to wait a bit? See, all these questions and no answer so far. You know what I'm envisioning? God giggling, knowing quite well that I am so frustrated with not knowing where I'm heading. It's like He's leading me blindfolded right to the doorstep, taking the fold off, leading me through the door I'm supposed to go, and then putting the fold back on again. Then again. That's what faith is all about, right? .....faith. Trusting in the unseen. Meh. It's gotten me so far. So I can't really complain. Whatever mess I am in at the moment, God pulls be back out and places firm ground underneath my feet. So wherever I'm going in the future, (Canada, Ireland, this or that) I know that as long as I'm passionately in love with God, I'm not heading in the wrong direction. After all, He wouldn't be God if He wasn't able to use me anywhere in the world. Right? Right now I really want to play with a ferret and have a glass of champagne. I mean. What. Also, it's April Fool's Day. Believe nothing. Trust no one.