Hold Off On That Gym Membership

We're at the point again where no one can believe that another year has gone by. Another 12 months just dust in the wind. Another (almost) 365 days washed away by the tides of time. We are also at a point where the internet explodes with individuals' reflections of their past year, their thoughts on the new year, regrets, memories, likes, dislikes, and promises for the upcoming year. What is it about the earth's annual journey around the sun that can catapult people into such deep reflections? What is it that makes people put up promises for the next 12 months that they're only going to keep for a few days or weeks?

People need growth. People crave growth. We die without growth. While being stationary can be comfortable for a moment, it is also dangerous. Imagine - for a second - a baby in the womb, about to be born. Would it like to stay in the warm, watery womb forever? Of course. It is warm and comfortable in there, as opposed to the outside world, which is cold, scary, and full of uncertainty. But what would happen if that baby stayed in the womb? It would die.

And so it is with us. If we don't change, if we don't grow, and if we don't move forward, we are going to die. This death, of course, looks different to everyone. And I think people know this. It's instilled in us. Just like the birds know to fly south for the winter and the newly hatched turtle babies know to race from the beach to the water, people have this instinct to change and to grow.

But the real question is: Why are so many unsuccessful in keeping up with new changes? We buy a gym membership and don't use it for 11 months out of the year. We buy a healthy cookbook, only to have it collect dust throughout the year. We promise to work harder only to get exhausted faster.

I think it's because people have an unrealistic expectation of growth. We like to think of ourselves as so strong-willed and disciplined. We think our character is so great and that we can withstand even the greatest temptations. I hate to break it to you but we can't. We are not strong-willed. We are not disciplined. Our characters aren't that great. And we cannot withstand even the slightest temptations.

But you know who can?

Jesus.

I believe often times we mistakingly shift our focus on the aspects of growth rather than the one we are supposed to grow into.
You want to lose those 50 pounds? Great! You want to start being smart about money? Awesome! Those are all very good good things that you can do (and maybe should do), but more importantly, every year should be a year that is dedicated to becoming more like Him.

Love more. Love harder. Love ferociously. Love unconditionally.
Forgive. Let go. Be filled with His Spirit to the point where it spills out everywhere. Be filled with His Spirit so much that it engulfs the people around you and touches every life that you touch.

Is it going to be easy? Not at all. Will we mess up? Most definitely. But a good friend of mine told me there's grace for that.

Last year I started just having one key word for my year. This past year it was "grace". Grace in abundance. This coming year my word is going to be "Spirit". In the end, it all boils down to His Spirit working in us and that is precisely what I want.

What do you want?

xo

The One About Two Roommates

At the end of the semester it's great to remind yourself of all the fantastic things that happened during the last few months. This is my way of remembering. I started jotting down the ridiculous conversations my roommate and I have sometimes and below you will find a snippet of our friendship. Our humour is underrated and I am pretty sure we should never be allowed to converse after midnight.

Patisha: "I'm so drunk right now it's not even funny." (Talking about how tired she really is.)

Patisha: "Can you do me a huge favour right now? On a scale of 1 to 300, it's probably a 2."

Patisha: "You know what I love about this music app?"
Me: "The fact that I'm not on there?"
*laughter follows*
Me: "I'm laughing and farting at the same time right now."
Patisha: "I know, it's beautiful. I wish people could hear this."

Me: *humming*
Patisha: "I can hum better than you!"
Me: "Prove it!"
*both humming aggressively*

*both sitting in our beds, not sleeping even though we said we would*
Patisha: "I love how we're both not sleeping even though we said we would."
Me: "What gave it away? My typing?"

Me: *stroking Patisha's hand*
Patisha: "Leave me alone you freak!"

At breakfast:
*both of us are laughing about something*
Patisha: "I think my heart is racing... or slowing down. I can't tell!"

Patisha: "I was totally stressing about this project, I hated my life. I thought I was going to hell!"
Me: "Well that escalated quickly..."

Patisha: "My internet's not working."
Me: That's what you get. It's called karma!"
Patisha: "Uh-uh, that's not biblical."
Me: "Your mom's not biblical."

Patisha: "We had a bomb threat at our church today."
Me: "Aw, that's so sweet!"
Patisha: "Did you hear what I just said?"
Me: "What??"
Patisha: "I sad we had a bomb threat at our church today!"
Me: "OMG I thought you said you had a bonfire at your church today!"

Patisha: "I feel like a big marshmallow. I just want to be rolled everywhere."

Patisha: "It's alright, you'll see him again. You'll have encounters."
Me: "Yeah, just casual encounters though... WAIT A MINUTE, NO!"

Patisha: "Owww, John Nash hadn't died yet."
Me: "What's the "owww" about? Are you sad about this fact?"

Patisha: "I must be getting my period. It's burning on the inside."
Me: "Are you saying your loins are on fire?"
Patisha: "Yes, my loins are on fire."

Patisha: "Hey Humphrey!"
Me: "Did you just call me Humphrey?"
Patisha: "Yep."
Me: "Ok so, anytime you're ready to call me by my real name, I might actually answer you."

Patisha: "I'll tell guys who want to date me, don't give me anything fancy. Don't give me expensive gifts. Create something with your hands. Do something peculiar with your hands."
Me: "Be careful how you phrase that last part. Might get taken the wrong way."

Me: "Oh chocolate calendars. Making me practice patience since I was 5 years old."

When there is a boom mic in your head.

It's annoying. It's distracting. And nobody wants to see it. The quality of a scene immediately goes down if you spot a boom mic in the shot, right? I think we can all agree on that.
What I didn't realize, however was that there were tons of boom mikes (mics?) in my own life, specifically my mind.

As most readers know by now, I've been going to therapy since September and it's been one of the best decisions of my life. I cannot tell you the amount of growth I've experienced and how much I was able to deal with my past. This week was my last session until January. We're taking a break for a month. As we summarized my progress for the last few months my therapist asked me about how my thought process works now. I'd like to share this with you in hopes that you may find it useful.

I sometimes get triggered by certain words, tones, and general behaviour. This invites many negative thoughts into my own head. These thoughts are destructive. They carry the voices of my past, telling me that I am useless, dumb, good for nothing, and a burden; that I am unlovable. With time, I have learned to believe these thoughts about myself.

These negative thoughts, whether they are about myself or about others, are the boom mikes (mics?). Your life is a movie. You are the movie editor. You don't want those pesky boom mikes (mics? Frig, how do you spell the plural version?) in your scenes. You want to echo Philippians 4:8. So what do you do? You cut it out. How do you do that?

Well, first you need to actually recognize that there is a negative thought. Any triggers, suddenly feeling attacked, defensiveness, jealousy, anger, judgement, etc. are things to watch out for. You don't want these in your life. So whenever any of them arise and you recognize them, it is time to press 'pause'. Just stop the scene. Time out! Identify the thought. Write it down if you have to. Did you get it? Ok, let's go back to the moment when the thought first popped up. What were the circumstances? What happened? We pause at the boom mic and then we rewind the scene to see how it happened. But it needs to be in slow motion because you don't want to miss it.

Now we get to the part where we cut out that thought, because we don't want it. It can go suck an egg. You're a strong, independent man or woman who don't need no negative thought in your life.

Let's compare your exaggeration of this situation against reality- whatever is really happening.
That person probably didn't mean to anger you.
That person probably didn't mean to make you jealous.
That person probably didn't mean to hurt you like that.
Even if they did, it's not your responsibility to carry that burden of bitterness in your heart.
When you finish your movie and are ready to show it to the world, would you want them to see the negative things you think about yourself and/or others? Probably not. Would you want them to see all that stored-up bitterness in your heart and mind? I didn't think so.

Once you start dealing with these buggers in your life, it'll become easier and easier to detect and deal with them. It may start out as a long thought process but with practice, it'll become second nature and you will be in a constant state of thought renewal. And who doesn't want to be happy with themselves?

I know that, personally, this analogy has helped me tremendously when it comes to my own thought patterns. I no longer want my life to be a crappy movie version. I don't want others to constantly point out the boom mics (I'm sticking with this one). At the end of the day, I want to be happy about how I handled the scene.

I'm extremely sorry if this didn't make as much as sense as I thought it would. I'm writing this quite late at night and may regret doing so.
Alas, happy thinking!

xo