The One About Two Roommates

At the end of the semester it's great to remind yourself of all the fantastic things that happened during the last few months. This is my way of remembering. I started jotting down the ridiculous conversations my roommate and I have sometimes and below you will find a snippet of our friendship. Our humour is underrated and I am pretty sure we should never be allowed to converse after midnight.

Patisha: "I'm so drunk right now it's not even funny." (Talking about how tired she really is.)

Patisha: "Can you do me a huge favour right now? On a scale of 1 to 300, it's probably a 2."

Patisha: "You know what I love about this music app?"
Me: "The fact that I'm not on there?"
*laughter follows*
Me: "I'm laughing and farting at the same time right now."
Patisha: "I know, it's beautiful. I wish people could hear this."

Me: *humming*
Patisha: "I can hum better than you!"
Me: "Prove it!"
*both humming aggressively*

*both sitting in our beds, not sleeping even though we said we would*
Patisha: "I love how we're both not sleeping even though we said we would."
Me: "What gave it away? My typing?"

Me: *stroking Patisha's hand*
Patisha: "Leave me alone you freak!"

At breakfast:
*both of us are laughing about something*
Patisha: "I think my heart is racing... or slowing down. I can't tell!"

Patisha: "I was totally stressing about this project, I hated my life. I thought I was going to hell!"
Me: "Well that escalated quickly..."

Patisha: "My internet's not working."
Me: That's what you get. It's called karma!"
Patisha: "Uh-uh, that's not biblical."
Me: "Your mom's not biblical."

Patisha: "We had a bomb threat at our church today."
Me: "Aw, that's so sweet!"
Patisha: "Did you hear what I just said?"
Me: "What??"
Patisha: "I sad we had a bomb threat at our church today!"
Me: "OMG I thought you said you had a bonfire at your church today!"

Patisha: "I feel like a big marshmallow. I just want to be rolled everywhere."

Patisha: "It's alright, you'll see him again. You'll have encounters."
Me: "Yeah, just casual encounters though... WAIT A MINUTE, NO!"

Patisha: "Owww, John Nash hadn't died yet."
Me: "What's the "owww" about? Are you sad about this fact?"

Patisha: "I must be getting my period. It's burning on the inside."
Me: "Are you saying your loins are on fire?"
Patisha: "Yes, my loins are on fire."

Patisha: "Hey Humphrey!"
Me: "Did you just call me Humphrey?"
Patisha: "Yep."
Me: "Ok so, anytime you're ready to call me by my real name, I might actually answer you."

Patisha: "I'll tell guys who want to date me, don't give me anything fancy. Don't give me expensive gifts. Create something with your hands. Do something peculiar with your hands."
Me: "Be careful how you phrase that last part. Might get taken the wrong way."

Me: "Oh chocolate calendars. Making me practice patience since I was 5 years old."