I talk a lot about social justice, equality issues, feminist issues, and the like. Often I'll state how women are so harassed in this day and age that it's become normalized. To be fully honest with you, except for a very private story that occurred over a period of time when I was younger, I had never really experienced harassment from males, especially not in public. I figured it was because I wasn't really the hottest-looking woman out there and don't really have that much to show off. Over this past year however, I am experiencing this issue more and more. I get called out in the streets (one very nasty example in Seattle back in February) and honked at. And I finally understand, really understand what it feels like to have this happen to you on a daily basis. It feels disgusting. About two years ago I got physically/sexually harassed by an old guy in the streets and while I was walking/rushing away I felt like I needed to take an hour-long shower just to wash this filth away.
I have to admit, you really won't know how a woman feels like unless you've experienced this yourself. To have your own sex targeted, to hear comments about your boobs, your butt, or to be grabbed inappropriately, there's nothing quite like it (in the most negative sense possible). Realizing this also made me realize that maybe the reason so many guys dismiss this problem as something to be brushed off, is because they don't quite know what it feels like to experience this. And I empathize with that. I truly do. I can't blame anyone for not understanding what something feels like.
At the same time I want to challenge anyone and everyone who has never experienced anything like this and who thinks that this is not a big deal to please listen to stories from your moms, sisters, girlfriends, and female friends. I can guarantee you that at least one of them has stories of being sexually harassed or even raped. Statistically, more than half of all Canadian women report incidents of physical or sexual violence since the age of sixteen. http://sacha.ca/fact-sheets/statistics
Please listen to us. I'm asking you to see beyond the veil of jokes, social media normalization of this garbage, or your own biases.
Tonight I went for a run while it was still mostly light outside and ran by a school playground where a bunch of guys were hanging out and smoking. As I ran by I couldn't help but keep looking over my shoulder just to make sure I wasn't being followed. This shouldn't be the case. For a little bit of further reading, I recommend checking out one of my best friend's blog post on this: http://lovedstill.blogspot.ca/2014/05/i-cant-hate-you-because-i-need-you.html
Thursday 15 May 2014
Wednesday 14 May 2014
The Dreaded C-Word
Often times I try so hard to foster my creativity that I get lost in the work of creating rather than focusing on the creation itself. Through my eyes, there seems to only be the beauty in process of creating and not in the finished work because I feel a great need for others to enjoy it as much as I do. Since that rarely happens I am left unsatisfied and disappointed, therefore demotivating me from engaging un further attempts at creativity. I long to paint my words as swiftly and unafraid as experienced paint brushes. Rather I pick and choose carefully which words I present.
My struggle is this: That creativity is not a comparison or a competition. I used to think I was the only one who was struggling with this but I'm sure that there are others out there who feel the same.
The very idea of creativity scares me because of the high expectations I hold it to. Nothing I create is ever good enough for my own eyes and ears. The reason for this is the fact that I compare my creative process to that of other people. Whatever I create is automatically worthless because it isn't the very best in this world. Because of this expectation I am set up for disappointment whenever I do decide to create, whether the nature of the work is a written piece, a drawing, a photograph, a little tune, or whatever else my itty, bitty brain can come up with. I am still not quite sure how to combat this struggle other than having to keep reminding myself that creativity is not a comparison or a competition but rather a compilation of my existence, experiences, emotions, and endeavours.
My struggle is this: That creativity is not a comparison or a competition. I used to think I was the only one who was struggling with this but I'm sure that there are others out there who feel the same.
The very idea of creativity scares me because of the high expectations I hold it to. Nothing I create is ever good enough for my own eyes and ears. The reason for this is the fact that I compare my creative process to that of other people. Whatever I create is automatically worthless because it isn't the very best in this world. Because of this expectation I am set up for disappointment whenever I do decide to create, whether the nature of the work is a written piece, a drawing, a photograph, a little tune, or whatever else my itty, bitty brain can come up with. I am still not quite sure how to combat this struggle other than having to keep reminding myself that creativity is not a comparison or a competition but rather a compilation of my existence, experiences, emotions, and endeavours.
Saturday 10 May 2014
We'll be just fine.
This is about the third blog post I have started today because the other two just didn't seem good enough. They both talked about different subjects but if I write something and feel, even in the slightest, that this doesn't need to be said right now, I'll start over again.
At this very moment I am listening to a new obsession of mine: Sleeping At Last. This particular song is entitled 'West' and he says:
we'll be just fine
we'll be just fine
it's a matter of time
'til our compass stands still,
'til our compass stands still
It reminds me to take every day for what it's worth, which is: a lot. Why? Because every morning that I wake up and hit snooze on my phone, I am reminded that I am breathing. I am reminded that this could very well be my last day on earth so who cares where I'm going to be tomorrow? I have a responsibility to my God to live in such a way that would honour him but I do not have control over this world. This might cause a lot of stress and anxiety in some but it does the exact opposite for me.
In this truth I find peace.
In this truth I find comfort.
In this truth I find hope.
I think that we (and by "we" I am identifying myself as a young adult) we are so pressured into thinking that we have to have our lives figured out. We have to have a career plan, a savings plan, and a schedule that already looks at the year ahead. What if we could let go of all that? What if we realized that no one else actually has life figured out? Because with each milestone we accomplish, we are not, in fact, closer to figuring out this silly thing called life. We just took one step deeper into this mess. We are so focused on our own feet in the mud though that we forget to look around, really look around, and see that everyone else is stuck in this mess as well. Just because they are further ahead, doesn't mean they're less in the dirt.
Instead of focusing so much on trying to figure out what to do with tomorrow, make sure you don't waste today. I have seen people who always chase the next big milestone be it a job, a relationship, a promotion, a house, or a family and they don't cherish the milestones they have already accomplished.
Remember: we'll be just fine. It's just a matter of time 'til our compass stands still.
and sometimes our compass breaks
and our steady true north fades
we'll be just fine
At this very moment I am listening to a new obsession of mine: Sleeping At Last. This particular song is entitled 'West' and he says:
we'll be just fine
we'll be just fine
it's a matter of time
'til our compass stands still,
'til our compass stands still
It reminds me to take every day for what it's worth, which is: a lot. Why? Because every morning that I wake up and hit snooze on my phone, I am reminded that I am breathing. I am reminded that this could very well be my last day on earth so who cares where I'm going to be tomorrow? I have a responsibility to my God to live in such a way that would honour him but I do not have control over this world. This might cause a lot of stress and anxiety in some but it does the exact opposite for me.
In this truth I find peace.
In this truth I find comfort.
In this truth I find hope.
I think that we (and by "we" I am identifying myself as a young adult) we are so pressured into thinking that we have to have our lives figured out. We have to have a career plan, a savings plan, and a schedule that already looks at the year ahead. What if we could let go of all that? What if we realized that no one else actually has life figured out? Because with each milestone we accomplish, we are not, in fact, closer to figuring out this silly thing called life. We just took one step deeper into this mess. We are so focused on our own feet in the mud though that we forget to look around, really look around, and see that everyone else is stuck in this mess as well. Just because they are further ahead, doesn't mean they're less in the dirt.
Instead of focusing so much on trying to figure out what to do with tomorrow, make sure you don't waste today. I have seen people who always chase the next big milestone be it a job, a relationship, a promotion, a house, or a family and they don't cherish the milestones they have already accomplished.
Remember: we'll be just fine. It's just a matter of time 'til our compass stands still.
and sometimes our compass breaks
and our steady true north fades
we'll be just fine
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