Sunday 23 June 2013

Update & Info About Me

Hi All,

Thank you so much for checking out my blog. My last post has received a lot of attention (my most popular post yet, actually) so I wanted to thank you for deeming it worthy to read. :)

Here's a little information about me:

I was born and raised in Germany until the age of 14. My family and I initially moved to a small little city in Manitoba but couldn't really endure the winter so it was either back to Germany or move to Kelowna. Since we had family friends in Kelowna who convinced us to re-locate to the wonderful British Columbia, we did. Kelowna was my home for about 4 years until I made the move to Vancouver on my own in January 2010. Throughout the last 3.5 years I've been all over the place in the Greater Vancouver Area, but sort of settled down in Surrey since September 2011. That's when I started my education at Pacific Life Bible College. I initially intended to stay for the one-year, intensive Professional Counseling Program but just a month in, I was convinced I would stay for another two years in order to complete my Bachelor of Arts in Church Ministry with a Major in Professional Counseling. So this is where I'm at right now. Off for the summer, waiting to go back for my last year in September and then I have no clue what I'm going to be doing.
Ideally?

Ideally I would move to Ireland with someone so I can find a job, work for a few years and then go to school there in order to get another undergrad because in Ireland I don't have to pay tuition since I'm a member of the European Union.

I have three passions:

God - Jesus has sacrificed his life so that I may live and I will be forever grateful. He has never given up on me, even in my darkest times, even when everyone else had given up on me. His grace for me is unbelievable. I initially gave my life to him when I was just 15 years old but since then, my world has experienced things I never thought I would. I've let him down numerous times, falling into sin but He would pick me up every time and assure me that He still recalls my name. Hence the title of this blog.

Human Trafficking - Did you know there are an estimated 27 million slaves in the world? And yes, that is a  low estimate, and yes human trafficking is modern day slavery. It can come in the form of labor trafficking or sex trafficking. I concentrate on sex trafficking because it has become an epidemic. Prostitution is where a lot of these women, men, and children end up. It is my hope that God may use me somehow in the fight to end it.

Ireland - I don't know what it is about this country. I haven't even been there before but I am absolutely, crazy in love with it. It is breathtaking and I don't really want to die before I haven't stood on the Cliffs of Moher and looking out to the sea. It's one of the few places on this earth that I'm really striving to be at.

Alrighty, this turned out longer than I expected but I hope that, if you don't really know who I am, you know me just a little better. :)
Any questions or concerned can be directed at: huberjessica7@gmail.com
You can also enter your email address in the top white bar in order to receive automatic updates for when I write a new post.
I think that is all! Thanks for reading!

xo

Saturday 22 June 2013

Sex is gross. Save it for the one you love.

Last night I was driving the car and one of my best friends and I were listening to either Mumford & Sons or Imagine Dragons. Can't really remember but it was definitely good music. Then we started discussing issues. I don't know how we came across this topic but I find myself talking about this a lot with my girlfriends. Why? Because it's so relevant in our culture. And because a lot of churches just won't talk about it anymore.

The ever-present, all-encompassing, and continuously-relevant topic of human sexuality, how it relates to purity and how many lies we're being told growing up (whether those lies come from families, churches, or media).

Though the two of us have different degrees of experience in the area of sexuality we could agree on one thing: People love the extreme. I'm talking about either end. Fundamental liberals and fundamental conservatives. And no, I'm not talking about politics. I mean the religious. The Christians. The church as an organization.
Often times you have these people:
"Do.Not.Touch.Each.Other. when you're dating. No touchy. You want to kiss? Don't be ridiculous. That's compromising your purity. Hugging leads to sex. Dancing leads to sex. (Hi Oma!) If you're sexually attracted to the person, you're doing it wrong."
The you have those people:
"Oh c'mon, nowhere in the Bible does it explicitly say that it's not right to be sleeping with someone before you're married. You can still be a virgin if you have oral sex. If you're committed to each other, it's like you're already married so don't worry. You should sexually express yourself in whatever way you want."

Both make me cringe and give me this sudden urge to punch something. (No worries. I'm not usually a violent person.)

For this post, I want to concentrate on the first example.
If one more person tells me that having sex with someone you're not going to marry is sinning against your future spouse I'm going to have a fit. Never mind. I already had a fit. Not only is this view not biblical at all, it's also illogical and stupid. You cannot sin against someone you have no contact with. In addition: it's not like you're having sex with your future spouse and sinning against them sexually by taking away their virginity or something. You're sinning against the person you're having sex with at that moment and more importantly: against GOD. That's that. And we can all now please drop this phrase?

In this fundamental, conservative outlook on sexuality and purity shame is also a control factor. People who fall into sexual sin are never really forgiven by others, their past is constantly being held against them, and fear is the greatest weapon in this fight. Teenagers and young adults are constantly being told to avoid all physical contact when they're dating. No hugging, no holding hands, and no kissing. But lo and behold: On their wedding night they're supposed to get it on like rabbits during mating season. Just kidding. It's always mating season for bunnies. Anyways. Do you get my point? We're being drilled with ABSTINENCE ABSTINENCE ABSTINENCE and then all of the sudden we're supposed to have this whole sex thing figured out when we finally get married. Having sex with someone is already supposed to be incredibly awkward and confusing. Not knowing anything about what to put where makes this a million times worse.

It's like people who promote this opinion thrive on their youth and young adults not being educated about their own bodies. Let me ask you this: What is so wrong about knowing how our bodies function? Here, I want to test something. I'll say a few words and you say them out loud when you read them, mmk? DO IT! (Unless you're in a public place, then, to spare yourself a lot of awkwardness, don't do it.)



SEX
ORGASM
PENIS
VAGINA
BREASTS
PUBIC
MASTURBATION
BOW CHICA WOW WOW

Did you cringe? (Sorry about that last one. I couldn't help myself.) Well? Did you? If you cringed, why? It's not really different than saying ARMS, LEGS, HEAD, FEET, or, HANDS is it? We have taken these words and made them dirty.

We have taken sex and made it dirty. (No jokes about dirty sex. I'm trying to be serious. Just kidding.) We have taken what is supposed to be beautiful and made it shameful.
Did God set boundaries for us to enjoy this? Absolutely! There are clear guidelines God gives us in His Word so that no one gets hurt by this. But outside of these, there is a lot of playroom. Do you want to hug and kiss before you're married? Who says you can't? (Please don't ask me about whether or not it's ok to have oral sex. People! It HAS the word "sex" in it. Pretty sure this one's pretty clear.)
I know several people who have vowed to not kiss their partner until their wedding day and you know what? I admire that! It takes a whole lot of strength, conviction, and self-control to hold to that and I have nothing but respect for them. But as soon as those people try to make their value MY value, I disconnect. This isn't my value, nor is is supposed to be my value. You like peanut butter? Sweet! I like Nutella  Don't make me like peanut butter. You forget that the human race does not consist of just one generic culture. We have hundres of thousands of different cultures all over this beautiful planet and you cannot take a value and expect every other human being to live by this value.

Also, can we please have more compassion for those who have messed up sexually in the past? If you are someone who has ever looked down on someone else for messing up, let me ask you this: Did you ever get a good look at a smokin' hot guy or girl and have those frisky thoughts? Yeah? You did? Well HA HA. Joke's on you because according to Jesus that's just as bad as adultery. I am hereby stripping you off your judging privileges. (No stripping jokes. Guys! Seriously.)

But seriously. Living with whatever consequences of their sexual past, whether those are physical consequences, emotional ones, or psychological ones, they need to heal. What they do not need, is the church coming down on them and giving them a hard time for what they've done. What they need, what WE need, and what I need is compassion, understanding, and teaching. Let more of the older couples in the church rise up and volunteer to mentore the younger ones. Mentor young singles and teach them about sex. Mentor young couples and teach them about sex. In the same way I want to address the young singles and the young couples: Look for mentorship from an older (and mature) couple or older (and mature) single person. Don't think for a second that you have it all figured out, because you don't.

My parting thoughts: Sex is a beautiful thing that is meant to be enjoyed in the right and safe environment. We need to constantly strive for better education on this topic, and for more compassion.

I am planning on continuing to write on this in the future. I don't exactly know what or when, but if you enter your email address in the box above, you can subscribe to my blog and you'll be notified whenever I write a new post.

Hope everyone's having a great weekend so far!

xo

Saturday 8 June 2013

Go Big or Go Home

If you know me even a little, you're aware of ... let's just call it my fascination with Ireland and everything Irish. I am so incredibly awed by their culture, their traditions, their people, everything. It is my ultimate dream to spend some time on this wonderful island and just the thought of standing at the edge (or rather: close to) of the Cliffs of Moher is already making me tear up. You'll notice that the background of this blog is actually a picture of those cliffs. Imagine my excitement and the amount of tears present when I'm actually there! When I get excited about something,  I get EXCITED about it! I read up on it, everything that has those words in it catches my eye, and I will not stop being excited about this until my heart says so.

But there's a problem with this picture. Not one that I can see but one that others see in it. And this one question always comes up, guaranteed:

"Why Ireland? That'd odd/weird." Confused looks follow. A couple of sneers. Some snide remarks. A few mocking words.

To this day I don't understand people's reactions as much as they don't understand my dreams aparently. I actually find it very insulting most of the time. Something that is very dear to my heart has just been shared with you and your idea of a response is mockery?

You know what I have seen in church culture nowadays? Everybody is supposed to live the same. Same old, generic lives. Grow up in a Christian home, get a Christian education, start courting, get married, have 2.1 kids, husband works in either ministry or an office job, and the wife does the same or she stays home, work until you're retired and that's it. Do some Christian stuff on the side lines such as going to the soup kitchen once in a blue moon, and one grande vacation with the kids once a year. Yeeeaaah. That's the LIFE! Yes? No?

Alrighty, so maybe this isn't how most families do life but it sure seems that way. Why else would I get so much scrutiny for daring to dream big? Hasn't the motto always been "Go Big or Go Home"? Correct me if I'm wrong but my impression of God is that he's a pretty big dreamer.

What I'm saying is that a lot of times I feel like I have to justify my dreams to others. "There must be a reason why you love this country so much!" Why? Why does there have to be one? Can't I just appreciate something without having to defend my right to appreciate it? Just let me appreciate it, ok? If you want to learn knitting, if you are in love with the nation of Tuvalu (and yes, I google searched "obscure countries" for this one), if you want to learn Klingon, if you are madly in love with collecting receipts from every town you visit and it brings you joy, why would I ever question that? Why would I mock you for it? Why on EARTH would I somehow think to myself that this is a stupid thing to do or a waste of time? Especially as friends, I think you ought to support each other in your dreams and passions. That is what friendship is. I have a few friends who jokingly mock me about this because every time I see something that has the words "Irish" or "Ireland" on it, it's like a million little butterflies just spontaneously hatched inside my stomach. So they laugh it off. But I also know that those people genuinely want to see me living out this dream because they care and they have something they're passionate about which I, in turn, support. They know what it's like to love something unconditionally. They know what it feels like.

Look, God has put things into our lives to enjoy. I know! Big shocker, right? Whaaaat? God wants me to enjoy things?
Absolutely.
He created this world so that we would maintain and enjoy it. When He looked at the Cliffs of Moher He knew exactly that someday, I would come along and completely fall in love with them. And He wants me to. He wants me to be passionate about something.

Without passion, we are just empty shells, doing empty work, which produces empty results. Sure, you'll get results but they'll mean nothing to you.
Where has the passion gone? Why don't people get excited anymore? Passion has so much disappeared from this world that some literally think I'm insane for embracing it.

Whenever I think of this, I think of Rapunzel in Tangled and the big musical number in the tavern/pub called The Snuggly Duckling (it's quite the hilarious song). You hear all these big and scary men expressing their dreams and at first you're like "You want to do WHAT?" but as you look closer, there's a child behind each one of those faces, dreaming.

One of the things that actually keeps me sane and hopeful is that, one day I get to enjoy the wind greeting my face and making its way through my hair while I stand at the edge of those cliffs, closing my eyes, and taking in God's beauty. I can hear the waves violently crashing against the bottom and then softly retreating back to the sea. The sun is setting, coating the landscape in its usual, golden self while the seagulls are preparing for the day to end. This is freedom.

True freedom lets you have dreams and passions. As long as you have nothing you are passionate about, I don't think you're allowing yourself to be completely free.

Next time someone tells you about their dream, whether you think of it as obscure or not, embrace it with them because they're investing in something. Then share your own passions with them. One of the most wonderful thing about talking to people is seeing their eyes light up when they talk about their dreams. It's proof that we were created in God's image.

Daring to dream big.

Wednesday 5 June 2013

Communicating with the Almighty

You'd think that after having been through the counseling program I'd be a display of perfect communication.

TADAA! I'm not. Actually... far from it, to be quite honest. If you know me even a little bit, you know that I am passive aggressive, I get defensive, and since having spent most of my life as a doormat for others, I don't address issues very well. Continually living in the doormat mentally where I get wronged, don't say anything about it, and then hate you for the rest of my life. Just kidding. I don't hate you. Unless you're the kind of person who drives 40kmh in a 50 kmh zone. Then you seriously need to reconsider your priorities in life and GET.OFF.THE.ROAD. But I'll never tell you that. I would much rather stay in my car, swear like a sailor and as soon as a second lane opens up, zip past you and give you the death glare as my foot presses against the pedal. I was built for speed racing ok. But we'll get past this.

Lately I've found it very hard to communicate with God. Most of the time I wouldn't even bother at all. Today I had a great realization (though common sense would suggest that God probably gave me this idea in the first place). Since I love blogging so much, why don't I just write out my prayers? It could be like a blog directed towards God. The entire time though I was thinking: What if this isn't the right way to pray? What if this doesn't count? So my first paragraph (and the only one I'm going to share) was this:

"I find it difficult, talking to you. Like I'm not sure how you're going to respond. Writing is easier for me and it helps. I hope this is ok with you since I'm pretty sure you can read."

Yeah... communication isn't easy for me. Though as I kept writing I could honestly feel my heart emptying out. I told him things I haven't told him in years. I asked him things I haven't asked him in years. And I even made a commitment to write to him everyday. Even if it's mostly blank pages, it still means that I'm sitting down intentionally and listen.

I'm pretty sure God is ok with this. If you have an unusual way of communicating with the almighty, don't worry about it. Just like God is able to work through so many situations and people in life, I'm pretty sure he knows your heart in this as long as you just keep communicating with him.

xo