Why I Am Getting Divorced

Some of you may not know this about me but I'm actually married. It's true! But it's not the fairytale kind of love. It's very abusive. I can't seem to win. Ever. When I first met my partner I felt strange. Never did I anticipate that I would make him my lifelong companion. Actually, I hope and prayed that this would be a short-term relationship but it developed and eventually I found myself tangled up in this sick and twisted way of life.

He has caused me a lot of grief. There would nights I couldn't sleep, days where the only thing I wanted to do was to curl up in a ball, and times where I didn't have the strength to go on living at all. He almost took my life, twice.

I was young when we met. Very young. Six years old, I believe. He just took me by surprise. He clung to me, intending to never let go and just stuck around.

I have now decided that this isn't a healthy way of living. Instead, I am kicking him to the curb, because honestly: there are better things for me out there. It's a very conscious decision and while this is going to be a process, I am also excited to at least begin this process.

Oh, right. Do you want to know his name? He's kind of a player. Latches on to a lot of girls. I was never truly the only one he "loved".

His name is: Insecurity.

Inspire Me

Inspiration always comes unexpectedly. We try to hang onto it for dear life, fearing that it leaves as quickly as it comes. We never know when the next dose of inspiration will fill our senses.

What I love about the concept of inspiration is that it is so deeply personal and individual. Every soul gets inspired by different people, things, and places.

I get inspired by watching people grow. I see people and their potential. I try not to see them in their current state but rather how the Father sees them. I envision their growth and get so excited when they are being challenged and forced to move. It makes my heart leap.

Tonight I watched The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. In this movie, he ends up travelling all over the place. He was a guy that never took chances in his life and therefore created his own little scenarios in his head aka he zoned out a lot. Eventually he is forced to move around in real life. But in the end, it wasn't the places that inspired me. It wasn't seeing the landscapes and people and breathtaking nature that inspired me, even though they were absolutely wonderful to look at.
In the end, what inspired me was the fact that he grew inside. He discovered more about himself and took back some things that time and conformity had stolen from him.

By watching other people grow, it inspires me to grow as well. In inspires me to conform more to Christ; to conform more to the very embodiment of inspiration, beauty, and love that he is.