Often times I try so hard to foster my creativity that I get lost in the work of creating rather than focusing on the creation itself. Through my eyes, there seems to only be the beauty in process of creating and not in the finished work because I feel a great need for others to enjoy it as much as I do. Since that rarely happens I am left unsatisfied and disappointed, therefore demotivating me from engaging un further attempts at creativity. I long to paint my words as swiftly and unafraid as experienced paint brushes. Rather I pick and choose carefully which words I present.
My struggle is this: That creativity is not a comparison or a competition. I used to think I was the only one who was struggling with this but I'm sure that there are others out there who feel the same.
The very idea of creativity scares me because of the high expectations I hold it to. Nothing I create is ever good enough for my own eyes and ears. The reason for this is the fact that I compare my creative process to that of other people. Whatever I create is automatically worthless because it isn't the very best in this world. Because of this expectation I am set up for disappointment whenever I do decide to create, whether the nature of the work is a written piece, a drawing, a photograph, a little tune, or whatever else my itty, bitty brain can come up with. I am still not quite sure how to combat this struggle other than having to keep reminding myself that creativity is not a comparison or a competition but rather a compilation of my existence, experiences, emotions, and endeavours.
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