When Complaining is Counterproductive

If you're friends with me at all and if we talk on a semi-regular basis, you've been hearing me complain a lot over this past week. I genuinely want to, publicly, apologize for this. I know I need tell you this in person as well but this is a start.

Last week I officially had to give up my car and I may as well have gotten rid of all my belongings and moved to a third world country, because that is exactly how I reacted. My life was definitely over, doomed to the ways of public transportation; a lifestyle I had only briefly explored in my first year of college when I was too poor to keep up car insurance payments. As that year came to a close and I was able to embrace my dear vehicle again, I swore that I would never sink this low again. I would never leave Morgan's side again and vowed to the people around me that I would be driving this car to its bitter end. Little did I know that his end would come sooner than expected and I was thrown into a world unknown. A world where buses don't care if you have somewhere to go at 10pm or that you want to keep your commute to less than two hours. I'm being melodramatic again but my point is: I felt lost. And stuck. And just generally crappy, because now I couldn't rely on a car to get me to wherever the heck I wanted and that scared me. Especially my work commute starting in March when things are only going to become more difficult for me.

Today I sat in church and heard my pastor talk about the defining factors of living like Jesus, namely the Fruit of the Spirit. Love, joy, peace, etc. Do those things define your life? Because if they don't, you're not fully growing into the character of Christ. It's easy to feel like we possess love when we only hang around people that show mutual love. It's also very easy to think that you're a joyful person when nothing tragic has happened in your life. Only when we encounter circumstances in life that counter the Fruit of the Spirit, will we actually have a chance to develop that fruit.

Only by being around people you don't love, will you grow in love. 
Only by experiencing sadness, will you grow in joy. 
Only by experiencing conflict, will you grow in peace. 
Only by having your buttons pushed, will you grow in patience. 
Only by experiencing hostility and selfishness, will you grow in kindness. 
Only by experiencing corruption, will you grow in goodness. 
Only by being let down, will you grow in faithfulness. 

Needless to say I got convicted regarding my constant complaining about how hard my life is at the moment. This isn't how I'm going to grow. As I am focusing on the things I don't have and I think I need, I was essentially saying that Jesus wasn't enough for me. Thank God that He keeps reminding me of the fact that He is enough. There's nothing else I need.

Nothing else will satisfy my soul. Only Jesus.