With Every Heartbeat I Have Left I Will Defend Your Every Breath

Many of my tears have seen the light of day. Unfortunately, most of them made their dreaded way down my cheeks because something awful happened. I cry a lot but it's nothing to apologize for. 

I'm not sure if there is an English equivalent for this idiom but in German we say: "Ich bin nah am Wasser gebaut.", which translates to: "I was built close to the water." meaning that the tears just come easier for me. Growing up I saw it as a weakness, often having been told that it was. I connected it to being over-emotional, exaggerating most situations, and not being in control over myself. 

Since then, however I have recognized it as my ever-present tenderness in life. So what if I cry easily? Does that mean that my emotions mean any less? In our culture we tend to glorify stoicism. We want men who are the "big, strong, silent type" and women who should be "more in control of themselves" lest we are thought of as being hysterical. 

Truth is that tears are a sign of our humanity. They serve various purposes and it fascinates me how they can actually differ from each other. They can express emotions such as sadness, joy, frustration, and confusion. They also serve a reflex function, which usually happens when you encounter irritating gasses, chop onions, or get hit in the face. What is truly interesting, however is the fact that the tears that are released because of reflexes consist mostly of water while emotional tears flush out all kinds of toxins. It literally means that your body is taking the bad that's on the inside and forces it out. Crazy benefit, huh? 

Every once in a while I'll reflect on my life in one of those rare, quiet moments we get and become emotional. Thinking back on how terrifying my life was last summer and looking forward to how this summer is looking I can see how God is truly at work. This is one of those instances where tears of joy are invading the spaces under my eyes. Gratefulness can be overwhelming and tear-inducing and I am so glad that it does. I enjoy all the little things that we are able to do to express emotions, whether those are tears, hand gestures, body language, or words. Just think of how amazing it is that you are alive right now. It sounds so cliche but put your hand over your chest right now. Feel that heartbeat. Really feel it. Can you feel it beating? Now let that settle in. Feel the tenderness that's been imprinted on your heart. 

You are strong and yet so fragile. We all are. That's how life is. Resilient and here today yet gone tomorrow. Just like a whisper in the wind. That's why we need to make every one of our heartbeats count, don't you think? Why waste our lives trying to deny ourselves emotions and outlets that can help us grow? We live in a culture that thrives off of hating things and putting down those who show appreciation and excitement for things. Everyone should be allowed to positively be overwhelmed by the things life has to offer. While we need to be careful not to let emotions dictate our decisions, I think it's also safe to say that emotions need to be felt and truly experienced.