Cut the Crap

Emotions & feelings are a funny thing, aren't they? I don't know about you but I can go from being completely miserable to ecstatic within a matter of minutes and vice versa.
Some would call this being unstable. I prefer to call it being real.

A quote I come across almost weekly somewhere goes:
"Never apologize for how you feel. No one can control how they feel. The sun doesn't apologize for being the sun. The rain doesn't say sorry for falling. Feelings just are."
Now, feelings and emotions should never dictate our behaviour. We need to be smarter than that. Think with your mind, feel with your heart. Give your heart room to breathe.

Feel it
           Acknowledge it
                                      Come to terms with it

You can run but you can't hide. Your emotions will catch up with you eventually. Might as well just face them.
That's what I did last night.

I build dams. No, not in real life. I build dams in my heart because sometimes I get tired of feelings washing over me. So I go look for sticks. I look for anything that will stop the flooding and I throw it in a pile. The pile gets

                                                                 and higher
                                               and higher
                             and higher
           and higher
higher

but the more water accumulates, the weaker the pile becomes until a tiny stick gets lose. Then

CRASH

flood of emotions. An avalanche of feelings. Last night my heart was heavy from past memories that came invading my mind. I broke under the pressure. I spent a good amount of time outside at night, crying my heart out to God. I was about to ask him to please be with me in that moment when I stopped myself and turned my question into a "Thank you for already being here with me!"

This morning I met with my mentor again. I can't praise this woman enough. We're sobbers. We occasionally like to sob. To someone from the outside looking in, it would seem that we're just a steaming, hot pile of pathetic. Again, I prefer to call it being real.
I came away from the meeting, grinning from ear to ear because I love it when people are real with me. I love it when they bear their heart.

I absolutely love it when you can see their heart opening and gushing out is everything that hurts and brings them joy.

I introduced my mentor to For Today today. Approval rates skyrocketed. For those who don't know, For Today is a metalcore band and they're Christians. The theology they present in their lyrics are far more cutting and convicting than any other "regular" worship band I've been presented with.
I love how she described their music after listening to a couple of songs.

"It's cut-the-crap music. It's let's-finally-be-real music." And I agree. Let's be real, shall we?

Real with God.

Real with each other.