The little girl who wanted to join Greenpeace.

As of late, the pieces of my life seem to all be falling into place. As a little girl I had big dreams and plans for what my life would look like. It would start off with me training to be a veterinarian. Yes. I absolutely loved animals. My heart for them couldn't be bigger. I would know all the facts, read animals books day-in and day-out, and even subscribed to a magazine called Tierfreund ( : animal friend). Even just looking at the website now is transforming me back to the time when helping animals in need was the most noble profession I could think of. I was even adamant about joining Greenpeace no matter how much everyone around me bugged me for it. I was written off for investing too much into something that, according to others, didn't matter as much as making good money. I was taught to put money before passion. Comfort before conviction. 

As I grew into my teens, my passion from animals slowly transitioned into my passion for people and I was seriously thinking about becoming a lawyer. By being a lawyer I could slowly end the stigma of corruption within the judicial system and use my "power" for the good of others. I wanted to help. I also really liked to talk. When I found out how hard it would actually be to become a lawyer, I let go of that vision because at that time, studying was not something I wanted to invest in. 

For many years after that I wasn't sure what to do with my life. I was told to pursue nursing because nurses were in "high demand" and it would "pay good". I never cared for a good paying job. In all honesty, I just wanted enough to live and to somewhat save up. I never cared for having a big house with lots of kids and lots of bedrooms and a boat and a vacation house and a trailer and big screen TVs and 5 cars. Heck, I was fine with living my life alone in a small apartment and enjoying being with people rather than being too busy with my work life. 

I didn't think I would make it to college until that day arrived anyway. By God's grace I am just about done with my third year and have acquired a job as a barista at Starbucks. I have one semester of studies left and then I'm done. What's next, you ask? I actually don't know. All my life I have waited for my studies to be done, to be working full-time and to be enjoying life. Now that this is actually within arm's reach, I don't know how I feel about it. The whole world is open to me. I could literally move to somewhere  in Europe next week, find a job, and settle in. There are so many options and I'm starting to miss the trees because of the forest. 

But if there is one thing I have learned in all my years of searching, finding, losing, and searching again, it's that no matter what happens, I can only afford to take it one day at a time. I may dream about what my future life will look like but there is no guarantee. My dreams have changed so much, my outlooks on life have changed so much, and I am becoming more and more aware of the fact that there is no cookie-cutter type life. 

For now I'll allow myself to dream of all the possibilities but also remind myself to be ok with whatever happens, because there have been countless of negative events in the past, which I didn't appreciate at the moment but can look at now and say that they have shaped me into the person I am today.