Today it was, once again, a great privilege to sit down with one of the wisest, most compassionate, and most approachable woman I know: Renee Hixson. Mentor, friend, and encourager. Both of us have a great appreciation for issues surrounding mental health so naturally we gravitate towards this subject whenever we get together. Our talk today prompted me to blog about it so here we go!
Growing up, I didn't pay much attention to mental health, having always been told that it's overrated and that hard work and honesty is much more valuable than emotional and mental stableness. "Therapy is for the weak" they'd say. "Just get over it" they'd remark. "Pull yourself together" they'd sneer. "You're a disappointment. If only you worked harder" they'd bark. Looking back, it isn't a great surprise to me that I ended up suffering from mental health issues because I wasn't aware of them.
There is a lot of stigma and many presumptions orbiting the deep, dark abyss that is the mind and its state. Depression is seen as temporary sadness. Anxiety is seen as being too sensitive and cowardliness. Eating disorders are seen as selfishness and/or gluttony. And then there is this tiny phrase that many throw around like confetti, hoping it'll cure the person: "Just get over it. It's all in your mind." As someone else pointed out: "Why, yes. It IS all in my mind. If I could figure out a way to get it OUT of my mind, there wouldn't be an issue."
What is especially disheartening though is the fact that the one place where people should be able to feel free and talk about their mental state, but are halted from doing so, is the church. Now, don't get me wrong, because I don't want to make the assumption that every single church in this world is like this. I am more than convinced that there are plenty of churches who pay great attention to their people in need and who make an honest effort to support them. I have noticed however that there is a trend among church leaders (and also church goers) that doesn't sit quite right with me.
Let's take, for example, the ever-used picture of someone who broke their leg or who gave birth in a church community. People write cards, they may visit, they'll send meals, they'll ask how they can help. Why? Because the state that the vulnerable person is in prevents them from doing every-day tasks with the same ease they are used to. They struggle. And they need the support. Now let's take someone who is suffering from depression, anxiety, or a personality disorder (I could go on and on in listing various mental health issues). There usually is no physical, outside proof that they are struggling. They're not hopping on one leg. They're not tending to a small baby. But just like the person who broke his leg or the person who gave birth to a child, the state they are in, prevents them from doing every-day tasks with the same ease they are used to. You're right, it IS all in their heads. And this is exactly the problem. People assume that the mind is easier to heal and deal with than any other body part but this is simply not true.
How do you think you would handle waking up every morning, not wanting to live?
How do you think you would handle waking up every morning, being anxious about the smallest things?
How do you think you would handle waking up every morning, hating every fibre of your being?
How do you think you would handle waking up every morning, deciding whether you should starve yourself today or eat your weight in food?
How do you think you would handle waking up every morning, not having the motivation to even accomplish the simplest tasks?
It's not sadness. It's not laziness. It's sickness. Add to that the pressure of keeping it a secret because it's not socially acceptable to be struggling this way.
Some Christians will tell you that you just need to pray more or that you need to read your Bible more. These are never bad suggestions in of themselves since it's never a bad idea to get even closer to God but these things will not necessarily cure your sickness. God may have grace and He IS able to cure people of their mental illnesses within a second but He also provides other means. He provides therapists, He provides support groups, He provides leaders who take charge and help because He wants us to grow in community. He has placed the call of unity in our lives. Isn't that what we're supposed to be doing? Working together? As a community of believers? It's not "everyone for themselves". We ought to pull together. Leave no man, woman, and child behind.
When will we finally acknowledge the fact that there are a lot of us who are struggling with their mental health and the fact that it's not so different than someone struggling with an injury?
Especially as a church community, let's put an end to mental health stigmas and start talking about this.
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